50 Murphy's Law
Contributed by: Rajesh (verygood101 @ yahoo.com)
1.
You can
never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
2.
Logic
is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence..
3.
Whenever
a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which
either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
4.
Technology
is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
5. If
builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first
woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
6.
The
opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental
solvency of the firm.
7.
The
attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord.
8.
An
expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows
absolutely everything about nothing.
9.
Tell a
man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him
a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
10.
All
great discoveries are made by mistake.
11.
Always
draw your curves, then plot your reading.
12.
Nothing
ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
13.
All's
well that ends.
14.
A
meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
15.
The
first myth of management is that it exists.
16.
A
failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
17.
New
systems generate new problems.
18.
To err
is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
19.
We
don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.
20.
Any
given program, when running, is obsolete.
21.
Any
sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
22.
A
computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
23.
The
faster a computer is, the faster it will reach a crashed state.
24.
Nothing
motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
25.
Some
people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or
even what book.
26.
The
primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the
fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
27.
To spot
the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost
the most.
28.
After
all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
29.
Any
circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts
which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.
30.
A
complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple
system that works.
31.
If
mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the
page number.
32.
Computers
are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends
on human reliability is unreliable.
33.
Give
all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl
Harbor File."
34.
Under
the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume,
humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
35.
If you
can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
36.
The
more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition
already has the order.
37.
In
designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totalled
correctly after 4:30 p.m. On Friday. The correct total will become self-evident
at 8:15 a.m. On Monday.
38.
Fill
what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.
39.
All
things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.
40.
The
only perfect science is hind-sight.
41.
Work
smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
42.
If it's
not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
43.
If an
experiment works, something has gone wrong.
44.
When
all else fails, read the instructions.
45.
If
there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause
the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
46.
Everything
that goes up must come down.
47.
Any
instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.
48.
Any
simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.
49.
Build a
system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.
50. The degree of technical competence is
inversely proportional to the level of management.
51. Any
attempt to print Murphy's laws will jam the printer.
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